To be a writer is to be thrust into a chair. Before that chair is a table. On that table lies a constant as insurmountable as the passage of time—the blank page. Tackling the blank page means time to think—which means thoughts like “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why is this so hard?”, “(long string of expletives)” and “a;sdfkjs;dfiojiowejfoap” burst forth in periodic succession like mines in a minefield setting off their neighbors. Boom. Boom. Boom. Except thoughts don’t blow up everything in a three-mile radius and then erupt into a mountain of flame as a drop of sweat slides cinematically from your brow—
craw ling down your face collar and your like beneath an ant
—at least, not literally. >o,,o,,o
But what I hate most is the recursive conversation that plays in my head while all this is going on, the discordant stream of noise that crescendos in the background as I look out over a sea of lurid white page and stare at my wall as if looking for a lighthouse. It’s “I can do this I can’t do this I can do this I CAN’T DO THIS” like two shrieking orchestras exchanging musical ripostes on eternal loop. It makes me want to vomit. So I run. Into music, into books, into nature, all the while pleading for some epiphany to relieve me of the accusatory glare of that uninked page, of that special grief of watching a story die before speaking its first words, of that fugue of failure that shrouds my senses in the aftermath—all because I wasn’t brave enough to vandalize that first, blank page.
But, oddly enough, the blank page has been as much a teacher to me as it has been a deterrent.
It has taught me how to write: Be bold. Speak loudly for those who are silenced. Paint with great, broad strokes.
And it has taught me about bravery: Chase change. Dance when others walk. Don’t surrender; force yourself to sit in that chair and write, even if it seems impossible, even if you’re petrified by the threat of failure—
—because bravery is doing it anyway.
My name is Caroline and I'm currently a junior at AHS. My inspiration for Bravery Is was the feeling of being unable to write for fear of not living up to my own expectations. However, as the first semester of my junior year comes to a close, I've begun to realize that I won't be able to do anything I want if I'm perpetually too scared to fail at it. The theme "Broad Strokes" appealed to me because of its connotation of unapologetic boldness, which I explored especially in the latter half of my piece. I had lots of fun experimenting with the formatting and imagery for this one. Hope you enjoy!